Is the support you’re seeking helping you move through life, or holding you in a codependent rut?
As human beings, it's crucial for us to feel connected to community. And so it's understandable that, when life feels like it's gone a little sideways, we seek out support from others. But there is a fine line between seeking and receiving support, and giving your power away to another and relying on them to make you feel good or to 'fix' things/you.
And, in this context, we're referring mostly to the dynamics between practitioners/teachers and clients/students – but, of course, our message applies to some other types of support, too.
"Don't allow our support to become a codependent relationship."
Codependency can be a two-way street. For example, you may look to your practitioner to fix you, and to have all of the answers you seek, while, between connecting or sessions, you're not really doing any foundational work – not regulating yourself, not feeling, not releasing, and not moving forwards.
Or, perhaps you're a practitioner: and perhaps you're not giving your clients the tools or space to tap into their own internal resources for the answers they seek; or, you're coming from a place of financial fear or scarcity, and holding clients in sessions or cycles for longer than necessary.
As practitioners, Renee and Murray share what ensuring a healthy, supportive relationship dynamic with their clients looks like. At times, it looks like saying "no" to continuing a working relationship. Sometimes, it looks like giving homework to be completed between sessions. And, sometimes it looks like simply reminding their clients, "you already have the toolkit... use it!".
Renee and Murray also share a story in this episode of a member of the OMmunity who they recently encouraged to see other facilitators and practitioners in order to dive deeper into their journey. Initially, the OMie was nervous: "but I want to keep working with you guys...". Renee and Murray assured this OMie that they had the toolkit, and that they were still there for them if needed... "now go!". The OMie went on their way, and came back beaming; they were so grateful for that little push out of the nest in order to enter the next chapter of their journey.
A healthy relationship with your support team means knowing where the limitations are, knowing who serves best where (and when), and a willingness to trust that, ultimately, YOU know yourself best; that you have access to the answers… you may just need a little reminder from someone supportive outside of yourself every now and again.
So ask yourself these questions when seeking support:
Do you want your practitioner to ‘fix’ you, or shine a light on your next step?
Are you using your self-support tool kit?
Is your support network willing to refer you on when your experience is outside of their scope?
Please note: this conversation is nuanced, and support looks different for each individual and circumstance. If you feel you need support, you should always reach out – we're always happy to point you in the right direction if you send us a message, and we've listed some amazing support resources* below.
*Resources for Support:
1800RESPECT - 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)
Alcohol & Drug Foundation - 1300 858 584
FriendLine supports anyone who's feeling lonely, needs to reconnect or just wants a chat - 1800 424 287
Head to Health gives advice and connections to local mental health services - 1800 595 212
SANE Australia provides support to anyone affected by mental health issues, as well as their friends and family - 1800 187 263