Today we're talking about the ego, and how it potentially plays tricks on us from time to time.
In a Spiritus breathwork session today, Renee - who's currently in facilitator training with Tim Morrison and Murray - experienced a moment where her ego put up a fight. It's something that Tim explains: that there's a moment when you drop in, of the transition period before the activation period, where the ego will make a stand.
Why does the ego push back against the subconscious coming to light? Well, the ego wants to keep us safe in the familiar. Healing beliefs that have kept you in the same patterns for however long will initiate change. And the ego is not about change. In fact, it perceives change as a threat.
In today's session, Renee felt like not much was happening. But then she saw Murray, in her mind's eye, encouraging her to "go deeper". And the way she felt Murray pushing her made her want to yell, "Go away! Stop! I'm out!". And that's when the penny dropped: it was just her ego dressed up as Murray. So Renee decided to just breathe deeper, and then the activations kicked in (more about these another time)!
Today was a reminder that the ego can be very sneaky. As Murray says, the ego will find any way possible to get to you. It will dress up as someone you trust, and it will come in through the back door, to make you believe that what you are doing is unsafe.
Murray sees it in a lot of people undergoing a great transformation: the ego is triggered.
So, how do you identify when it's happening?
Let's first start by answering, what even is the ego?! Murray defines the ego as the thinking mind, but also a culmination of previous experiences and personal reality, and it's particularly built up around experiences that it now believes you need to be wary of and kept safe from. Renee thinks of our ego as our individual interface with the world - how we interact, and why.
Identifying the ego at play in real-time takes a lot of awareness and a lot of practice! It involves a lot of contemplation, self-awareness and self-discovery, and people you trust holding you accountable (and maybe even shining a light when it's happening).
Daily practice - mindfulness, meditation, mindful movement, and fostering relationships with those you trust and who mirror you - helps to build awareness.
So, as always, do your daily med(itation)s 😉 and watch out for that sneaky ego!